I was in Gamers in Akihabara yesterday and picked up a Sera myu DVD, I guess to the amusement of the clerk there who warned me (in Japanese no less) that the video was in Japanese. The play I ended up with is the Summer 2004 Sailor Moon musical, "New Legend of Kaguya Island." I think there are something like four different versions of the Kaguya Island story (this is a repeat of the original musicals) including a revision of this one in Winter 2005, but this is the first time I'd seen one of the various Kaguya Island musicals and I was going in fresh.

The entire review is SPOILERS for this play.

DVD Technical notes:

Region: 2
Dimensions: 4:3
Language: Japanese only, Dolby Digital
Subtitles: Japanese (songs only)

Menu options:

Musical (subtitles off)
Musical (subtitles on)
Service numbers (bonus songs)
Song chapters
Scene chapters
Bonuses
Staff and Cast

Quality on the video is as good as a taped musical can come, which means sometimes it's dark but in general you can catch all the action. On audio there's the occasional irritation from the audience, but such is par for the course. I'm rather limited on technical details here because while I've got a nice video setup in the states, I'm limited to a PS2 and a 13" TV in Japan. All the technical wonders of this country and none of it affordable to your average lowly scholar.

I don't have a setup where I can get clips direct from the DVD so what I've done for illustration in this review is to use my digital camera to record some brief clips off my TV screen.

As far as the storyline goes, this play is one of the most convoluted things I've ever seen. I generally spend most of a myu on my ass laughing but I tried to actually follow this one and it was difficult. They seem to have chosen from a number of random themes and tossed them into the alchemy pot, thinking they'd either eventually get a myu or that jerk King Trode would force them to try again.

Whatever they tossed in, they got a myu alright. It's a hell of a musical, I was just left with my head spinning afterward trying to understand what the heck I'd just watched. At the beginning, the sailor soldiers are listing off things about them that they consider weaknesses. Rei says something to the extent of, "I'm too sexy" to which the other senshi shout "No!" I imagine that's the kind of thing where even if you're an actress you kind of hold a grudge about it toward the script writer.

They decide they need to do some training, at which point Mamoru brings out two clownish pacific islander friends who play a standard silly gaijin role. Mamoru says they've invited everyone to their island, Kaguya island, which has got a ton of jewels on it. (Jewels that the soldiers, being girls, want. Because all girls are obsessed with jewels, be it rubies, diamonds, family, or otherwise; even Haruka and Michiru who are millionaires want the jewels.)

We're then treated to two long expositions by different parties who'll be playing separate roles as "want the silver crystal but not really evil" villains and "want the ginzuishou and are really evil" villains; the former by the "female pirate" Loof Merrow and her clan (which includes the two islander goofs), and the other by "Dark Plasman" who lives in a comet or is a comet or plays for the Comets, which would be very awkward since they team is supposed to be an all-women team, but which I am sure would have led to a hilarious Juwanna man-like scenario, something which all musicals sorely lack.

Dark Plasman is really something else. You need to see this guy sing, he sounds like the cantor at my synagogue. I could picture him wearing a yarmulke and tallit, singing Ain Kelohenu during Rosh Hashana and then during the lunch afterward, sitting awkwardly next to the Rabbi noshing on a bagel while making small talk about the Goldstein's son getting into Yale. I imagine every time he performed in one of these musicals he thought to himself, "This is so below me and my booming male voice" but did his best each time out of a sake of duty, "for the children," whom he subsequently scared the shit out of. (Why is there a crying baby in the audience of every myu DVD?)

Shalom Alechem Motherf**ker
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One of his hench-women is named Dark Menorah so they've got something going on there, although Dark Menorah is kind of an oxymoron as a Menorah is no more than a glorified candelabrah.

At any rate, both sets of villains want the silver crystal, because everyone in every myu knows that Usagi Tskukino is Sailor Moon and has the silver crystal and they needsss the precious. I guess when you only have two hours you might as well cut to the chase because if they'd have done each musical installment like an episode of the anime they'd only have gotten up to Nephrite's death by now.

The sailor senshi board a boat to Kaguya island as their islander friends were too cheap to spring for airfare. You'd think that if they have an island with a crapload of jewels on it they could afford a Gulfstream Jet or two.

On the way there they get attacked by Dark Plasman and his two female henchmen, but eventually they make it to Kaguya island, where they're treated to a native song and dance by the islanders, which is a further exposition on the plot: there was an ancient kingdom that was destroyed there 5000 years ago and of which Loof Merrow is the only living royalty.

The song/dance sequence that Loof and her servants do is actually pretty good and I'd say one of my favourite scenes in the musical.

Praise Takeuchi, provider of South East Asian stereotype dancing
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At some point around here we're treated to a different song/dance by two cat-children which is sugar-sweet cuteness for the sole sake of giving everyone who watches it diabetes. I actually thought they were both boys until I saw the cast list later. These two kids do a number of songs about their missing mother who left them alone 5000 years ago and the whole time they've got this cat-shtick going on which I'm sure the audience lapped up, but which 10 years from now these girls are going to rewatch and have the unconscious urge to stab their mother for pushing them into doing it, which will manifest itself as getting pregnant at 16 by some loser from the neighboring town who turns tail as soon as she says, "I'm late" and, as such, causing them to shame their entire family.

This reminds me of a play I was in during Nursery school where I was
a raccoon on Noah's Ark, a play I've tried desperately to forget.
My psychiatrist thanks you for my continued patronage, myu writers.
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Entire scenes of randomness are thrown about here, like the senshi looking for jewels and getting sprayed by something, Chibiusa meeting the cat kids, Hotaru being possessed by some ghost, one of Dark Plasman's hench-women looking for her two lost kids, those kids singing a song about their missing mom (HURRRRR), finding out that the islander people (named Serpen, Kraken, etc.) excepting Loof Merrow are androids, the senshi getting sick from the spray, Loof Merrow saying she's in love with Mamoru and then snapping out of it when she finds out that he's the person whom Chibiusa was spawned from, and more. Also, apparently everyone except Sailor Moon can't transform while on the island and there's a "dark crystal" because on a survey of "things a Sailor Moon bad guy can have" those rank pretty high.

By far the best is Haruka and Michiru refusing to be around the other senshi when they're sick because they don't want to "look weak" in front of the others. Let me explain to you what's happened. They can't transform, so they lost their Hideaki Anno "Perfection" field. Add to that, they've got some sort of pacific disease which means when it comes time for a bowel movement, "World Shaking" is going to take on a whole new meaning.

Eventually the senshi have to make their stand, songs are sung, attacks are danced, and Eternal Sailor Moon makes her appearance (albeit not flying this time.) When you've got 10 senshi combining their attacks at you and Tuxedo Helper is mixed in there, odds are you're going down. This guy's just a comet person anyway, we're not talking Galaxia here.

Incidentally, what is with the series' writers and comets. You've got two movies based on "comet people" or "asteroid people" and this play and probably more stuff that I'm forgetting. I think I've figured it out. It's kind of like your perfect bentou villain; you want a tightly boxed storyline that can start and end in one shot, so why not make them related to comets? Comets come, comets go, don't need to invent a whole new dimension for a comet villain.

If you'd like more information on the play itself and in particular the songs being sung, TakaJ did a couple of reviews for us a while back, which are definitely worth your time.

Musical Preview/Cast List
CD Review Part 1
CD Review Part 2

As far as my own opinion on the music goes, I think there are as many hits as there are misses. There are a lot of songs which sound the same to me, particularly the enemies' prattlings, but there are some really great songs like the one people were raving about at the time the play came out, Junketsu no Naricissm, and Toraware no Arutuka, and I will be purchasing the CD at some point in the near future.

After the play ends, bonus numbers are next up on the disc; these are songs that weren't from the musical being performed but which were done as bonuses afterward. They sang LINK and the standard La Soldier.

By far the best bonus they include on these recent myus is the "Making of the Musical" featurette, which lasts about ten minutes. The actresses for Usagi and Loof Merrow do the narration and take you through various scenes such as choreography, dress rehearsal, and first performances. There were a number of new cast members in this musical (something which is commented on several times during the Making Of Featurette) and you get to meet a lot of the cast (one of the guys playing an islander keeps talking about how many bowls of ramen he's going to eat after the day's done and it's pretty funny) as well as see the way they interact outside of their costumes. The video is unscripted, entertaining, and a good learning experience for how these musicals work.

Big news toward the end of the video, and as regarded this play in general, was that Shirota Yu, aka Tuxedo "Ashton Kutcher" Kamen, was "graduating" from the musicals, i.e. that this was his last performance. He'd been around for two years and was quite popular in his role so they made a big deal about it, the staff even left him a "good luck message" at the end of the video. The lady who played Pluto had graduated one or two musicals before, had played her part for a lot longer, and she didn't get nearly as much time or crocodile tears on that play's DVD as what Yu got in this video, but this is Ashton Kutcher Kamen we're talking about. Since most of the musicals I've seen are the recent ones, he's been in a lot of them and I'm actually sad to see him go, but considering everyone effectively graduated in the musical after this one, he seems to have gotten out while the getting was good.

Last stuff on the disc is a commercial for the musical that ran on Japanese television, as well as photos with the names of the cast.

The entire DVD runs 162 minutes between the musical and the bonus features so you get a lot of bang for your buck with this disc. Also, the version of junketsu no narcissism that's played during the menu sounds a lot like music from a Megaman stage (if I'd just heard this as an MP3 I'd swear that's what it was) and that's always nice. Take a listen, run it on loop, pretend you have the DVD and that you're about to bust a cap in CometMan, who I'm sure was a villain in one of the 28 Megaman games out there.

It's a menu, and it's a me, mario!
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Or get the DVD yourself for the full version. Up to you.